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Awareness

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” – Abraham Maslow

Awareness is the greatest human gift of all. Awareness affords each of us the ability to assess what is going on in our lives. Awareness brings into view the sensory experience of life. Awareness gives us the ability to judge our circumstances allowing us to chart a course in life. However, awareness is different at different times in life. For example, when your ego experiences a sense of threat your awareness shifts to a more guarded place funneling actionable choices. It’s a paradox. In the most extreme cases, the greater the stress, the less mental choices available. Hence the limiting options to fight, flight, freeze or fawn.

As we develop our personality, we begin to condition our nervous system to those around us. If stress is a prominent feature then your ability to identify stress is amplified. Hence, you can become ‘jumpy’ or ‘on edge’ around certain people. Conversely, when you are in an environment where peace, love, kindness and community are the precedent there is an acclimation of the nervous system to a differing attunement. Easy going or relaxed bringing peace to the body allowing for an environment of recovery from the agitation. This is why it is so important to understand how much your environment dictates your behavior. 

Utilizing awareness then becomes a superpower that can help you diagnose your body’s needs. However, given the fact that humans are so adaptive, one can begin to feel the trigger for agitation is different for different people based on their respective environment. If arguments are constant, especially the I am kidding playful (not really kidding) kind, one can acclimate to this by way of neuroplasticity. The initial sting of exposure of argumentative behavior lessens over time giving rise to a normalcy, or equilibration, experienced in the relationship. There is a great benefit to this feature of the nervous system outwardly. Will power increases significantly to argumentative behavior reducing the triggering effect on the nervous system. 

The brain is always looking to create efficiencies within the nervous system to reduce energy consumption. The means of imperceptible acclimation is a cardinal feature of the adaptation process. The body’s response to bring balance between the inner and outer worlds. Again the same holds true when the environment is peaceful. There is an acclimation of vibratory sense that breeds recovery within. Awareness becomes a powerful ally to the nervous system in this setting. Releasing the agitation of one environment into the community of peace allows the dissolution of the threat sensed by the ego, even when imperceptible. However, when within perception the release can be profound. 

In those moments of ego release, I have come to understand the patterns of my life. The yin and yang as described in yogic philosophy. My need for achievement coming from a place of need for outward recognition and external validation. The lack of sensed love at some point in my youth propelling me in the direction of pursuit. The benefit was the development of an extreme discipline and future thinking primed for goal achievement. The downside, an accompanying anxiety imperceptible to me, yet palpable to many around me. Consistently experiencing a need to pursue something new to feel a sense of satisfaction in life. Coincidently, a dopamine rich existence.

In March of 2022, this way of being came to a crashing halt. I began to realize these patterns of behavior through enhanced awareness challenging me to my core. The serpent that lie dormant in me, coming to life, bringing forth wrath onto my existence. The double edged sword of achievement striking with its penetrating fangs. The sting of the poisonous choices to ease the anxiety of wanting more become painfully apparent. The ability to slow down long enough to assess this major blind spot I couldn’t see. Awareness was the magnifying glass I needed to start a new path towards self-acceptance, understanding and love.

There’s nothing wrong with a life of pursuit. As a matter of fact, it is why we seek purpose and meaning in life. It is why we were given dopamine and the receptors it binds to. To seek that which we most want with our hearts. Paradoxically, there is a radical peace found in pursuit of excellence. Yet, the cognitive bias of overgeneralization prevents us from viewing this causing many of us to swing like a pendulum away from this absolute truth. It is this concept that I have chosen to explore profoundly for the remainder of my life. It is the elusive flow experience. 

Having now charted my course towards flow, I am invigorated by my environment. I am happier than ever with a sense of internal peace never encountered. This is a brand new sea for me. Serene and peaceful despite any attempts of inclement weather in my periphery. My environment has become my greatest teacher with pain as the greatest lesson. Through pain and anguish a new image is forming. Like metal forging in the fire beaten into shape I am rising anew. Awareness has become my shield with peace, understanding and acceptance as my sword. 

Awareness is the key to freedom. The answers to your life’s deepest questions lie within your ability to understand yourself on this level of consciousness. This level of awareness. Otherwise, you are simply ‘acting out’ old patterns of behaviors which were handed to you by your environment. The deepest ingrained behaviors by those you were most intimate with in early life when neuroplasticity flourishes. Ever say I will never be like my parents? Well, this is why it is an unavoidable fact for many of us. Awakening to the fact that we are each a series of ‘programmed’ behaviors dictated by our environment is the foundation for my work with clients. 

Unhinging them from this way of being frees valuable resources to pursue purpose when acclimation to purpose has occurred and ultimate achievement met. It is in the moments of extreme personal achievement that one can approximate the sense of distress associated with the paradox of achievement. Just ask many of the Olympic gold medal winners of the past. Three-time Olympic gold medalist Shaun White has described feeling a dramatic emptiness after every Olympics, win or lose, and experiencing feelings of isolation and aimlessness. Even Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, has spoken about experiencing severe post-Olympic depression. 

The silver lining in this story lies within each of us. Pursuit and achievement are undoubtedly a fuel for life. Learning to moderate the dopamine rush with recovery strategies can lessen the blow felt post achievement. However, even more important is the understanding that achievement is a choice and a gift we are all granted to pursue. It is not a requirement to quench a need to change what is already whole and complete. Any championship coach or athlete, especially at the highest levels, can attest that the journey is truly much more valuable than the destination. The ephemeral nature of achievement is simply a consequence of the minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day choices we each make on the way to becoming our best possible version. 

Alex
August 16, 2024
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