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For the Money of Love

“The best investment by far is anything that develops yourself, and it’s not taxed at all…Whatever abilities you have can’t be taken away from you. They can’t actually be inflated away from you.” Warren Buffet

I once heard a guy say, ‘He chose money over love.’ I remember thinking. That’s fair. I would never knock someone chasing money. It is a pleasurable ride at times. Yet, for me it didn’t agree. The chase for money is primarily driven by dopamine. The molecule of more. The chemical of anticipation and motivation. The fuel for one’s desires. Here’s the interesting part of the human nervous system. So adaptive. Developing tolerance to most anything dopamine. 

Dopamine can be obtained in a variety of ways. Some healthy. Some are not so healthy. Dopamine is produced with certain activities such as regular exercise, consuming protein rich foods, adequate sleep quality and quantity, meditation, sunlight, music and any hobbies. In contrast, activities such as consuming alcohol, caffeine, sugar, nicotine, cocaine, marijuana, and heroin can all cause dopamine levels to increase. Gambling and pornography also elevate dopamine. These substances and activities can cause a more intense dopamine rush than other activities, which can lead to addiction. 

Dopamine requires some moderation for the sake of health. Tech devices also bring about a great deal of dopamine release. The issue here is screen time. Many are sacrificing a great deal of physical capability for “digital destress.” In the science community, cells phones have been described as ‘designed with the same reward system as slot machines.’ Previously, I mentioned addiction. Too much dopamine has also been linked with mania, hallucinations, delusions, obesity and schizophrenia. One must learn the art of stillness to understand dopamine moderation. Now love brings about dopamine, too. But that’s not all. Enter the love hormone Oxytocin. 

Oxytocin is considered one of the healthiest hormones produced by the human body. It plays a crucial role in social bonding, reducing stress, and promoting feelings of happiness and trust. Oxytocin is released during positive social interactions, such as hugging, kissing, and childbirth, fostering strong connections and emotional support among individuals. Hugging is the big one for me. This hormone also helps lower blood pressure, decrease cortisol levels, and enhance immune function, contributing to overall health. 

Research indicates oxytocin can significantly aid in the repair of heart tissue. Oxytocin binds to receptors in the heart, stimulating the production of cells known as cardiac progenitor cells. These cells help regenerate and repair damaged heart tissue. It heals the heart. Maybe that’s why we often find comfort during hard times when connecting with trusted people. And no addiction with Oxytocin. Studies indicate that repeated exposure to oxytocin does not lead to tolerance. Tolerance occurs when increasingly larger amounts are required to achieve the same effect. Tolerance to dopamine is a hallmark of addictive substances, like cocaine, which is absent in the case of oxytocin. 

Now there is something I want to make clear about Oxytocin. Authenticity is required to experience the greatest natural releases. When individuals act authentically, they create more meaningful and trusting relationships. Authentic interactions are typically characterized by openness, honesty, and vulnerability, each triggers the release of oxytocin. 

This hormone is closely linked to social bonding and is released when people experience positive social interactions. Interestingly, my inner circle looks so different today. The day I accepted I was ready to put the dopamine moderation name tag on, well the old crew, they slowly vanished. Yet, they say allowing one door to close makes way for the next door to open. This time I chose the Oxytocin door. In the past 2 years, I have learned a love I never knew existed. The most important love of all, the love for me.

Self-love is at the center of well-being. To love myself was a task. First, I had to become aware that I didn’t unconditionally love myself. My entire life I was haunted by an inner voice. Two separate beings in one. The outside Alex and the inside alex. The inside always giving final approval for actions in life. Anxieties and worries dominated this way of being. Always concerned with what might happen in the future. Habitual thinking patterns develop, making their way into identity. A very slippery slope. Letting go of the past and future thinking is a requirement to set foot in abundant Oxytocinland. The more present, the more Oxytocin. Connecting deeper with life. Being present becomes the practice on the yellow brick narrow climb to the widest dimensional view.

Every day I practice. I start with my morning prayer, breathwork, cold shower, meditation followed by an ultradian block of morning work. Breakfast to the taste of sunnyside eggs, greens and quinoa. A schedule helps to entrain the mind to be present. The schedule is the process. Like the morning process, I have an afternoon and evening process. The details are rarely the same. Always something new to learn. The mundane becomes the miraculous. Social time is built into my schedule. A daily lunch will be my new goal after August 2. Currently, daily yoga fills my social cup. A beautiful community of heart-centered people moving to heal. So much gratitude for the people and the place. It has been a healing place for me. 

My healing journey has led me to the money of love. In contrast, we all know the cliche ‘for the love of money.’ Money can bring about security and safety. However, it can also bring about chaos and disorder. Chasing novelty becomes a thing. Something is lost along the way for the love of money. Innocence is sacrificed, evidenced by the need for more. Each time exposing another mystery only to adapt to the feeling. Requiring more stimulation each time. A slave staying at the Hotel California. Experiencing the see-saw relationship of pleasure and pain. 

Pain and pleasure balance each other on this see-saw. When dopamine levels are high, we experience pleasure. However, as those levels decrease, the see-saw tips towards pain or discomfort. The brain constantly seeks to maintain homeostasis, so an increase in dopamine (pleasure) is often followed by a decrease (pain) to balance the system.

When the brain becomes accustomed to high levels of dopamine, a sudden drop or lack of stimulation can lead to feelings of discomfort or pain. This is because the brain’s baseline for dopamine has been raised, and anything below that threshold can feel like a deficit. This deficit can manifest as withdrawal symptoms, cravings, or general dissatisfaction. Precisely, why I chose to find balance within. Instead chasing the money or currency of love. 

This part of my journey brings us full circle to Oxytocin. Ever since adopting this approach of unconditional self-love, I feel better than ever. Healthier. Happier. Connected. Unconditional self-love has opened doors to deeper, more meaningful relationships. The authenticity I now bring to my interactions fosters trust and vulnerability, which in turn boosts oxytocin levels. This has created a positive feedback loop where each act of self-love and genuine connection enhances my capacity for empathy, reduces stress, and strengthens my immune system. It’s fascinating how this hormone, released through simple acts like hugging, sharing a laugh, or even spending quality time with loved ones, can have such a far-reaching impact on both mind and body.

In embracing oxytocin and the principles of unconditional self-love, I have discovered a currency far richer than money. This journey has taught me, the greatest wealth lies in the relationships we nurture, the love we give and receive, and the inner peace that blossoms when we live authentically. As I continue to walk this path, I am constantly reminded that true fulfillment comes not from external pursuits, but from the rich, ever-flowing stream of love within and the connection found with the world we inhabit.

Alex
July 29, 2024
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