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We Are All Blind

“Every age has its massive moral blind spots. We might not see them, but our children will.” – Bono

The time is now. How can we begin bridging the distance between us. Within the same room families are untethering. Is it those damn phones to blame? Is it the constant consumption of media? Or is it the age old generational issue of resistance that continues to surface? I believe it to be a collection of all of it. Genetically, humans are ALL 99.9% the same. Yet, the need to belong to something greater than ourselves can have such a gravitational pull. It’s either become greater as a result of what we collect or become greater as a result of a collective way of being.

In this society of “I”, we are faced with a major conundrum. Are we to continue to rotate as independent planetary bodies collecting matter or will we find something spiritually greater. The experiment of collecting matter to matter has been ongoing for millenia. Civilization after civilization, humans have collected riches from far and wide only to exit stage left with empty hands. Alexander the Great’s example details this best. 

Alexander actually had three wishes at the time of his death based upon three lessons he had learned during his life. First, that his physicians be the only ones to carry his casket to show the world no one can stop death. Second, he asked that the streets of the procession be lined with all of the riches he collected to demonstrate we cannot take riches with us. Lastly, he asked that his hands be left outside of the casket to show we come into the world empty handed and leave in the same way.  

I experienced my own wanting to matter by obtaining matter in life. Raised in a humble setting I was taught the value of hard work. The prize for hard work would be the acquisition of material possessions. The luxuries of life. A very nice house. A nice car. New clothes. Happiness bought. Yet, it was one of the most miserable times in my life. When the financial crisis of 2008 hit all that I had collected was gone. In one failed swoop I had no money, no wife and children living in another home. All that time spent collecting had rendered emptiness. A paradox found. Unfortunately, I did not learn the lesson then. 

I went back to hard work as my process to achieve. This time approaching it with anger and frustration as the fuel for my journey back up the ladder. What I realize now is that desire to achieve is an unquenchable thirst. There exists a network in the brain for achievement. Let’s call it the “pursuit” network. The primary fuel for this network is dopamine, AKA the molecule of more. This is crucial to comprehend. All humans are wired to want more than they like. Scientists have determined that the wanting networks compared to the liking networks in the brain are very disproportionate at a 9:1 ratio. Meaning we fancy the chase much more than possession.

We all have adaptation to blame for this. The double edged sword or paradox of survival if you will. Adaptation to change is what allowed us to survive yet adaptation to material goods begs the novelty of better and bigger goods to feel pleasure. How it works is a steady dose of dopamine is gifted to use each day. A baseline amount for a balanced life. When we pursue we are gifted more dopamine. However, the cells responsible for that extra boost are left emptier of the substances needed to make dopamine. The price is the feeling of emptiness felt temporarily after that which we pursue is achieved. 

If you have ever purchased anything and felt down or perhaps questioned the purchase, this is the root cause of the feeling. This is also known as buyer’s remorse. The anticipation of purchase drives dopamine levels up. The subsequent crash in dopamine levels leaves behind a residual pain to counter the pleasure experienced with the purchase. It is this drive to feel the sensation of dopamine coursing through our veins that is the root cause of addiction. Ever ask a cocaine addict what is felt when the supply is done? Most often the initial thought is how can I get more. 

Granted cocaine, amphetamine and methamphetamine seem to yield the greatest amounts of dopamine. However, to a much lesser degree, nicotine, shopping, playing video games, scrolling social media, sex and food all cause a rise in dopamine. If not moderated all of these behaviors can result in addiction. Consider moderation as a see-saw. Pleasure sits on one end and pain sits on the other. High swings are so typical in society today. Yet, not very many people want to face the pain of recovery. The admission of the escalation of commitment towards a course of pleasure seeking behaviors. 

The escalation of commitment is defined as a human behavior pattern that describes when someone continues to invest in a decision or action despite negative outcomes. This also coincides with the definition of addiction whereby the drug user continues use despite potential harm or negative outcomes. How does this happen? Enter confirmation bias. A cognitive distortion which implies humans will search for evidence that confirms what they believe rather than seek out other possibilities. The egoic brain or analytical mind utilizes this shortcut to prevent the use of more energy in the decision making process. Hence, these energetic shortcuts create a human blind spot. Makes me think of the character Golom in Lord of the Rings. 

On the subject of energy. Consider the see-saw mentioned before to represent a sine wave. A sine wave is a geometric pattern that is usually represented by a wave-like pattern traveling up and down. The wider the wave the lower the frequency of the wave. The narrower the wave the higher the frequency. Wait, why did I just go geometry on you? Stay with me. I promise to close the loop. Emotions are experienced in waves. We tend to prefer the emotions and feelings when they are on the rise in life. Emotions like joy, contentment, peace, excitement, admiration and acceptance all give rise to an enjoyable feeling in the body. While emotions like anger, frustration, disgust, shame and guilt all leave behind a disruptive inner feeling. 

Interestingly, humans learn best when experiencing those not so nice emotions and feelings are present. So if we are constantly in pursuit of pleasure are we missing the lessons of the present moment? I know I was. Repeating the same cycle expecting a different result. The definition of insanity. It was not until I decided to sit in meditation with pain that I discovered my middle way of moderation. My wave-like pattern began to lose the wide edges giving rise to a much more narrow frequency. Meditation and yoga were at the core of this inner revelation. 

Learning to breathe through the discomfort of yoga poses allowed me to learn to breathe through the discomfort of the low points of feeling. The anger and frustration quieted, giving rise to joy, peace and love. Meditation opened my third eye to a world of thoughts of chaos and disarray. An internal world of programmed ways of thinking afforded to me with the best of intentions. I came to embody the concept that the “road to hell is paved with good intentions” in my darkest hour. The lowest feeling frequency sine wave I had ever experienced. A victim of my own doing for not expanding earlier when the lesson was first offered by life. 

I often tell clients “pick your pain or your pain will pick you.” The pain of sitting still offers a reward like no other. The reward of longevity. A paradox I have come to learn is that life is short yet I must make the most out of it. This duality reminds me that while our time is finite, it’s also filled with endless possibilities. The fleeting nature of life challenges us to prioritize what truly matters, to embrace each moment with intention and gratitude, and to pursue our passions and dreams without delay. 

A holistic approach to life is about the long game not immediate gratification. Raising my vibration each day means I set a new baseline dopamine level higher than the day before. Avoiding those rapid rises and falls in dopamine and vibration allows my system to slowly adapt to a higher level of conscious behavior. One that embraces a growth mindset to be curious and caring. One that embraces the differences between us as the beauty of being human. One that loves without condition so that I may love myself without condition. This is the best I have felt within my entire life. Hard for me to argue with the way I feel. 

As I continue to thoroughly embrace my journey I am grateful for every present moment experience I have ever had. Good, bad, who knows, as each has helped to sculpt the masterpiece that God intended me to Be. Seek within you the peace and serenity of recovery from the rat race of material possessions valuing your greatest possession, the gift that is your life. In the end, your love for yourself and life will be all that matters. 

Alex
August 16, 2024
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